Today I want to share with you something super personal and deep about myself.

Beginning of July I held my Aphrodites Tempel Retreat – the deepest, most powerful, absolutely epic retreat. It was all my dreams and wishes come true.

I didn’t have words for this retreat, the transformation, depth and liberated power for me and the women was unbelievable- It was a success. I was profoundly happy.

For maybe one or two days. And then I fell into a seemingly never-ending hole of…

…tiredness, heavy procrastination, extreme laziness, zero motivation, being unsatisfied with what is. Yet I felt so powerless to change anything about it.

I felt like suddenly, something dark and heavy took control of me and made every single move I made so sticky and heavy. Like walking through thick mud.

But why? I became irritated. There was no apparent reason to how I felt. Everything in my life was smooth and on a pretty good level, so why the hell would I feel like this? Made no sense.

I blamed astrology, and then wondered if past angry lovers or people who hate me might have put a spell or curse on me.

But today in a session with my coach I found the real reason: *drumroll*

Me. My sneaky, clever subconscious.

Ugh, like always! 😩 Can’t I for once blame someone outside of me? Do I ALWAYS have to be the reason for my inner processes? I guess so…😑😵‍💫

You know, as a child and teen I was used to being cast out of groups. I was never enough of something, and never quite fit in. I have some hurtful memories of girls laughing about me and openly mobbing me.

So now in my work and life, for the first time ever, I have kind of created my own groups, through my friends, my IG community, my courses, retreats & membership. Of epic women (& all other genders) who are similar on a soul level, whose hearts beat for similar things, who are here for realness and deepness. And you are on of these people Joey ♥️ Virtual warm, long (or short if you prefer that) hug to you in this place.

They (you) value me for who I truly am. I can share everything from the depths of my soul. I can talk about pussy discharge, drugs, past life experiences, dark feminine or kinks.

It feels so so precious ♥️ So precious that suddenly, after this wonderful retreat, my inner child got scared. Of losing it again.

Subconsciously, I was scared of doing anything wrong. I wanted to keep everything as it was and protect it fiercely. Subconsciously, my inner girl thought, if I do anything wrong now, history will repeat itself.

That I would be cast out again, out my own groups. That I would lose you – these precious amazing women in my life.

So what’s the safest thing, this part thought? Doing nothing and hiding at the point where it feels too good to be true. Becoming lazy. Procrastinating. Hiding in my comfort zone. Nothing can go wrong if I freeze the moment and just do nothing, right?

Ahh, our (subconscious) mind is so so clever. You know, every single behavior wants to serve you and protect. Even destructive or hurtful ones. Sometimes just in an outdated way.

Could it be that deep down, you are also scared of more success, more love, more abundance, more pleasure in your life? That’s why you block it subconsciously?

Understanding this pattern, I could solve and heal it. And now I feel free again. And liberated and motivated. So here I am, writing a newsletter, back in my flow the first time in weeks!

I’ve received such touching, beautiful, epic feedback about my work the past weeks – about the retreat, the Live Self Pleasure ritual in Sex & Soul, the membership itself, my 1:1 sessions. I’ve never shared it, my inner child subconsciously blocked me –

– Because then more people would come into my membership or retreat…

And it didn’t want that 🤯 It wanted to play safe and hide. Stop at the perfect moment and preserve that forever.

But here I am, SO ready to welcome more women into my spaces. My arms are wide open (🤗), and my spaces are pretty amazing and transformational I must say. And others say too. But find out for yourself! 😜

Join my Sex & Soul Membership for an epic, loving and taboo free community of like-minded women 🌹

If you’d like to work with me in the deepest, most intimate way and release YOUR subconscious blocks keeping you from a free, fulfilled and wild life, have a look at my private mentoring offers.