One day, I had this OMG-wow-wtf-really insight about my life and purpose.
It felt like several threads of my life came together and suddenly made so much sense. Some insights take 31 years to ripen – but what an epic moment when your life makes sense!
I mean, sometimes life seems so complex and random, right? Sometimes life throws things at you and you’re like – wtf am I supposed to do with this. At least my life was often like that.
Well, I had the opposite experience last week.
And suddenly it made sense how I grew up in the conservative south of Germany, why I love to get lost in dark techno clubs raving for hours, why sexuality is a part of my work, why my first instrument was a shamanic drum AND why my ceremonies and rituals often create this deep insights, transformations and insane energies.
It’s ALL connected. Are you ready to hear why?
So, last week I held space for women in a cacao ceremony. And what can I say – the energy was INSANE. The feedback was overwhelming. Women reported their soul leaving their body, their soul entering their body, their wild woman and fire activated, trauma healing, ecstatic states, psychedelic states and so on.
And this is not the first time this happens.
I regularly get the feedback and see with my own eyes that my spaces + my work awakens deep processes and transformations. And that women feel so safe and seen and connected in there.
Most in person cacao ceremonies I’ve done ended in wild ecstatic naked dancing. True story. And I never plan this. It just happens naturally, organically, like it’s the most natural thing.
I mean to me it is, but you know our society.
And yes, that’s also because of the energy I have, and my scorpio self – feeling comfortable with sexual and dark energies, the deep, the underworld, the transformation, the taboo – and bringing that to light.
And yes, it’s also because I’ve done the work myself and I dove deep into my own darkness. So people can feel this, they can energetically feel that I can hold a lot – so obviously a lot comes up.
But that’s not it – there was something missing to this equation.
There has always been this power in my spaces that goes far beyond me as a person. It’s something bigger than me that just seems to happen when I open a space.
And I now know what it is. Because my man asked me after the ceremony: what is it that created this insane space? And then Monday morning I watched this video by Layla Martin – one of my favorite teachers – on the primal self and rituals.
And I was like: FUCK YES NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. I had energy orgasms with goosebumps all over me.
The answer is: I naturally create the space for RITUALS.
I have this talent for creating ritualistic spaces where people can go into trance like states. Now let me explain from the start…Humans need ritual space to thrive. Rituals bring you into trance states.
When you’re in trance state – your access your deepest self. Your roots.
It’s the most powerful and transformational space there is – that’s why Ayahuasca can heal decades of suffering in one session. Or hypnosis. Or certain breath works. Or shamanic drumming. Or dancing in trance to raw techno.
Don’t think of trance as losing consciousness or something scary. It’s the space where you meet your soul.
It’s the space of your innermost truth: the truth of your worthiness from deep within, your (feminine) glory and power. The place where your deepest emotions are stored.
And accessing that space enables the deepest transfomations for humans available.
Because you go BEYOND your conscious mind, beyond your social conditioning, beyond your family story and beyond your traumas:
You are in the space of your deepest truth. You’re self – stripped away from culture, society and the past. You see your truth beyond your trauma and layers of stagnant energies and emotions.
And that’s why one single ritualistic session can heal more than years of psychotherapy. And that´s why it goes so deep. And that´s why my spaces go so deep: they bring you deep, and into trance like states.
I have understood that what I naturally do is create ritualistic spaces.
Rituals are part of being human. In fact, we NEED rituals to thrive. That´s why all societies across time and space had ritualistic spaces. Except the Western society.
Western society judged cultures with ritual spaces as “primitive”, living backwards, not modernized. In Europe, women doing rituals were tortured, killed and traumatized in the witch hunt.
The so-called witches as well as ancient societies and some non-western cultures just knew of the power of rituals.
They used rituals to heal, connect, transform, celebrate – for example the transition from a girl into a woman.
This lack of rituals in our modern world is the reason why so many of us don’t feel whole. That´s why there is so much disconnection, loneliness, an epidemic of mental illnesses. Because we’re lacking the essential of ritual spaces.
And that’s also why so many of us are naturally drawn to women circles, to cacao ceremonies, to Ayahuasca, to breath work, to shamanism – and to dance raves. Because that is ritual.
Ancient cultures had night long dance rituals.
What rituals also do is they connect you to your wild, primal, instinctual nature. Which is the facet of the feminine that still is most suppressed in women.
Few women have reclaimed their wild part. It’s the part of women that gets shamed, feared and rejected the most. And it comes out in ritual.
Which is why it feels so healing: because we literally return to wholeness, through accessing even our deepest parts, our wildest parts.
So last week, I understood that all my life was about ritual. Ritual, besides sexuality, is my natural attraction. I naturally create powerful ritualistic spaces. It feels like it’s in my blood.
I’ve always felt deeply drawn towards rituals, the wild feminine and trance states – which are induced through ritual.
There is this techno club Berghain. It’s the wildest techno rave in this world – and going there always felt like a holy, deeply spiritual experience to me. It’s dark, it’s sweaty, it’s ecstatic. But I always came out feeling purified, cleansed, whole.
Why? Because it’s ritualistic. When I enter the place, I enter ritual space. Techno brings you into trance. Dancing brings you into trance. And experiencing this with a crowd can take you really deep.
It’s one big ritual. Ancient cultures had night long dance rituals too. Rituals also are part of shamanism, ancient medicine systems and tantra.
So many threads of my life came together, and the one common thread is: ritual, trance and the wild feminine.
I’ve studied anthropology – and mostly by the studying ritualistic societies and shamanism. I wrote both by BA and MSc thesis on psychedelic states and plant medicines – which happen in ritual spaces.
In my work, I guide people into deep processes through hypnosis, breath work and energetics – I guide them into ritual space.
The first instrument I got was a shamanic drum – the sound similar to techno takes you into trance and ritual space. My retreats and in person gatherings are always deeply ritualistic.
Also, I am walking the path of awakening through sexuality and tantra – also deeply ritualistic. Sex and orgasms can bring you into trance like, deeply transformative states too.
So all the things I’ve done and that I feel drawn to have one thing in common: They are ritualistic and bring you into trance states.
So it is my calling and path to bring the healing and powerful effect of rituals back into this world. But in a sexy, modern way. I infuse the ancient with the modern.
I’ve already intuitively done this without knowing it. My soul knew, now my mind knows too.
I am here to connect women with their long lost selves in ritual spaces and trance states.
Spaces that enable deep transformation – spaces in which you find back your power and beauty – where you face your deepest hurts – you see your inner goddess, your wild woman…
…You can see and feel your wholeness.
My women´ s retreats & offline events are the place you can immerse into these ritualistic spaces with me in the deepest and most powerful way. Join the waitlist HERE 🌹
Oder komm zu uns in die Sex & Soul Membership – wo wir jeden Monat online zusammen kommen für Rituale und Zeremonien.
I love hearing your thoughts and how YOU see things! If this resonates or brings up thoughts or questions, write me – I love connecting with you!